Today's life lessons

1. Some people are bound to suffer their entire lives. Thank Gautama I'm not one of them - unless you consider endless allergies and stuffed up sinuses suffering, in which case you should do a little chant for me.
2. Teaching is a learning experience. Just make sure you're not in a classroom full of mind-numbing morons.
3. Pet insurance is expensive. But not as expensive as having a reckless nutjob for a dog and an overweight cat who are UN-insured. There's a chance, however, that this life lesson will change - it depends on whether or not Obama goes for the pet healthcare proposal I sent him. DOWN WITH NON-COVERAGE OF PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS - at this point, birth itself appears to be a pre-existing condition.
4. No matter what happens, it ALWAYS pays to stand up for yourself. Sure, it may cost you your job, but in the end you get to walk away pride intact and there's got to be SOME way to make your pride pay the bills. So, for example, if someone tells you that you lack the authority to make solo decisions and that they expect your full cooperation in the future, it's okay to defend yourself sarcastically in such a way as to force the opposing party to bend down and kiss your cheeks.
5. Yard sales are hard work. I don't know this for sure, but judging by the fact that we've been putting ours off for two weeks, I'm guessing it's true. And poster board is no longer five cents a sheet. Shocking, I know.
6. You really are as stupid as you act. You've driven in Jersey, right? Enough said.
7. It's totally possible to have an infinite amount of snot in your head. In which case it's much cheaper to stop buying tissues and just use your sleeve instead.
8. There is a direct correlation between the number of figures in a person's salary and that same person's inability to make coffee. Larger salaries seem to indicate incompetence at a variety of levels. Coffee is but one tiny (but important) example.
9. People with too much time on their hands are prone to using the E.R. as a diversion from boredom. As evidenced by my experience on Tuesday, when I'm pretty sure only two of the few dozen patients actually needed to be there.
10. Honesty is the best policy...unless it will get you in trouble. In that case, just lie. There's no sense ruining your own day, too.
11. It's possible to clean a desk off with minimal effort. Just heap everything on someone else's desk - when it needs to come back around to you, it generally will. Until then, kick back, relax, check Facebook...whatever.
12. No means no...except when it means yes. Some people have this uncanny biological ability to filter nos into yeses - I think it's in the eardrum.
13. Being a pest usually pays off. I'll do a little bragging here - after my scathing letter and emails to Sallie Mae, I finally got a response that resulted in an automatic deferment of all loans due and an apology. I'm still switching lenders, though :)

t.