A letter (and yes, it really is in the mail)

June 1, 2010

Sallie Mae, Inc.
ATTN: Correspondence
P O Box 9500
Wilkes-Barre, PA 18773-9500

Dear Sallie Mae,

I hate you. Please allow me to elaborate.

I have unfortunately been a customer for just about ten years and I would like to offer some evidence of your complete incompetence as a lender and manager of student loans. I am extremely frustrated and disgusted with the way that you provide “customer support.” I have critical questions about my existing student loans and there appears to be virtually no way for me to get them answered. Case in point: 

1. I sent an email. You ignored it. Or you just never got around to it because of what I’m sure is the sheer volume of students you’re “servicing.” 
2. I called. Your genius automated system has several notable limitations and was unable to answer what I thought were some pretty basic questions. (Really, is it too much to ask that you have one or two human beings staffing the phone once in awhile?) 
3. I didn’t bother writing a letter because I don’t have the luxury of time to wait for a response via Pony Express, which now that I think of it might have actually been faster than trying to reach you via email and phone.

Let’s face it – you’ve been on a downward slope for quite awhile and my friend, you are NOT in the business of teaching snowboarding lessons. The way I see it, you’re making a pant-load of money off of my debt and I deserve to be treated with courtesy and respect, not ignored when trying to get answers about the loans that I will be repaying for the remainder of my natural life. I have spent an unforgivable amount of my workday trying not to throw my phone AND my computer out the window. The only recourse I had was to write you a disgruntled letter – sad that it’s come to this, when we’ve got so much technology, don’t you think?

It is unfortunate that you care so little for your customers. So unfortunate, in fact, that you might as well consider this a Dear John letter. You’re not the only loan company in the sea, so I intend to consolidate elsewhere and make all our lives a little easier. I have worked in higher education for years; hence, I encounter lots and lots of students whose entire future is likely tied up in unscrupulous loan companies like yours. I also love writing angry letters to the editors of my favorite publications – what’s the point of writing a sappy love letter to an editor, after all? I’ll be sure to spread the good word of our breakup.  

Sincerely yours,

Tara N. Ronda

P.S. - If you haven't yet seen the Sallie Mae's Incompetence blog, I highly suggest it - it makes for some gooooood reading: http://www.imjosh.com/salliemae/.