"Go forth and rant, young grasshopper..."

That's what she said..."she" being the better half of the PB&J duo that is Tara and Maureen. I was a little peeved about some things and she advised me to make a blog post out of my dis-ease, so that's what I'm doing.

First it was the library overbuild - if you are a non-Stocktonite, you will have no idea what that means. Well, simply put, it looks like this: you demolish an outdoor, nicely sunlit patio in front of the library-wing entrance and replace it with an "eco-friendly" new wing with exposed, recycled steel beams.

Then, it was the plowing down of these beautiful, massive oaks to make way for a spiffy new college center, which for some reason is pictured in the plans as having a bizarre head-shot of Shakespeare in one of the front windows.

A few weeks ago, it was the unveiling of an upgraded, "more aesthetically pleasing" website with pictures of shiny, happy students galavanting about under trees (some of which are no longer here because of the nice new college center).

And now, at my most delicate moment, when I have been pushed to the very limits of discomfort at realizing just how much my beloved school has changed over the years...the bookstore. The hallowed aisles, once lit with scathing fluorescent bulbs and filled to the brim with junk food into which I could drown my professional sorrows around 3-ish every day, are now carpeted and surrounded by dark wood shelves, professional racks of clothing, and...gulp...INFORMATION desks. It looks more like a Barnes and Noble than the old Follett bookstore. And this, my friends, is the last straw.

There is nothing wrong with getting a makeover once in awhile, wanting to look good for all the new freshmen that will eventually traipse through your halls, admiring your interior (need I remind you to get your mind out of the gutter?). But this is not a makeover - this is a chemical peel followed by a facelift followed by a full-body transplant.

All because we can't be happy with what we have.

The transformation of my old stomping grounds and current workplace is merely a reflection of society at large. Except it usually doesn't cost many millions of dollars for people to get nipped and tucked...but I digress.

I find it disappointing and sad. I suppose I'm an archaic old relic who hates change. More than that, though, all these "improvements" have done nothing more than turn Stockton into a run-of-the-mill state institution. We look pretty, run inefficiently, and find more and more ways to prostitute ourselves to the public for a few bucks.

When I came here 11 years ago, this school meant something. It was on a beautiful tract of land which, while not entirely untouched by progress, still offered unmarked walking trails through the woods, places undiscovered (or unmarred by discovery) that you could find and claim as yours. As soon as you got on College Drive, you wondered how far you were from civilization as you drove...and drove...and drove until you found the parking lots.

Now all the trails have signs with arrows because everyone's afraid to leave the beaten path. The entrance is paved over, making way for a large traffic light for the many cars that will travel down Vera King Farris Drive (meh...far be it from me to speak ill of the dead, but...). New freshmen won't wonder where the parking lots are - first they'll pass the newly paved "back" roads going into the woods, then they'll pass the LED sign that tells them where they are (and the newly planted grove of trees that will never make up for all the ones chopped down), and finally they'll see the huge blue building with the ospreys and the school seal screaming the new-ish school colors. The parking lots are bigger and there are no longer rustic old wooden signs with yellow painted words directing you where to go.

And if the students happen to come in from the other side of campus, they'll see signs along the edge of the campus that tells them where they are. They'll pass the new "sports complex" - fake green fields and shiny new bleachers ready for action. Eventually they'll pass all the new-new and old-new housing complexes.

Somehow, through all this development, we became New Jersey's Green College. I think, though, that the green stands for something else. The trees left behind after the massacre aren't really green so much as they're covered in the sawdust from all their fallen compatriots. But there are more classrooms and parking spaces and places to eat...there will even be a large food court in the new college center, expanding the already plentiful ways students can become obese on campus. Yep, the green sure will roll in...

I miss the old school and my old friends and the old way of doing things. At least things mattered back then...now we're just another school in the crowd. I'm thinking about writing the Stockton Bible - you know, to memorialize the old times. I envision a section somewhere around the middle (let's call it Tara 9:6) that will go like this:

"For unto the Pinelands, an urban university will be born, a paved paradise will be given to us; And the fate of South Jersey will rest on Its shoulders; And Its name will be called Extinguisher of Poverty, Mighty Institution, Eternal Ivory Tower, Prince of Capitalism." (If you'd like to see the original verse, feel free to hop on over here. Call me a spiritual satirist, if you will.)