What have I done?

OK, I'm starting to have those serious post-decision jitters. Today I was talking to a colleague at work and I compared the jitters to how I felt on my wedding day - I was nervous about the ceremony, not the guy I was marrying. I suppose that's a good thing - I'm feeling nervous about the classes I'll have to take and passing the MCAT, not about the actual decision. Although there are quite a few people who think I won't stick to this decision (because let's face it, I'm not so good at sticking things out), but I feel an odd confidence that it won't be an issue.

The other day I borrowed some calculus books from my dad and I've been geeking out in front of the computer, studying up on basic math principles again. It's kind of fun but also a pain in the ass - every time I start doing problems, I realize there's another principle about which I've forgotten completely and then I have to backtrack even farther. At this point, I think I may just start with third-grade math - you know, just to be safe. I'm pretty sure my 10-year-old stepdaughter (who is very good at math, by the way) is way ahead of where I need to be. But no worries, I'm just going to keep plugging away. I'm super excited about my most recent purchase in the name of this strange path I've chosen - Basic Math & Pre-Algebra for Dummies. I got a great deal on a package that also includes Algebra I for Dummies. I realize this is pretty bad for someone who thinks she will miraculously get through two years or more of pre-med studies. But I just need a brush-up - it's been ten years since I've taken a math class. It's like learning a new language - use it or lose it.

Although I won't likely be able to start classes formally until the fall, I think I may sit in on some lower-level math classes this summer just to get a good sense of where I fall on the spectrum.

Strange how I'm so caught up in this math-phobia of mine that I haven't even stopped to worry about chem, biochem, physics. I guess because I'm not worried about any of those things - they're things about which I'm extremely interested, so it doesn't seem as hard to get into. Can anyone recommend ways I can suddenly become totally and completely passionate about math? I would be so set...

t.